My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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