Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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