I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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