Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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