I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
