She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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