I just saw a hot homeless man
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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