I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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