Sry I called you an 8
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
