Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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