you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
