I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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