I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
