If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
