Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
