Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
