5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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