All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
