I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
