I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
