You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
