I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
