oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
