He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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