I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize