Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
