Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
