no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
