Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
