Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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