Swine flu is the new snow day.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He better not be in your backpack
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
