scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
