i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
