she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
