It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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