Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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