so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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