I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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