Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize