I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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