um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize