Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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