If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
