Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize