id be glad to
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
