no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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