watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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