Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
