im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
