he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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