The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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