Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize