You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
