Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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