Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize