He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
