I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
