If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
