did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
