How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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