Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
