i will never coherently bang her
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
