Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
