There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There's always time for handjobs
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize