And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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