What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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