How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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