im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
operation have a gay friend backfired
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
