i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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