She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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