This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
