I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
