Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
