wanna go halves on a baby?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
