ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
