Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
