sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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